Alright, when I read about this I knew for years that zombies were coming… either naturally or from experimentation. Apparently Scientists have discovered a fungus almost 50 million years old that has actually been videotaped taking over the minds and bodies of ants. Yes.. a fungus.. takes control of minds and bodies.. much like a zombie virus. I just shit in my pants a little bit and have decided to start hoarding shotguns and flame throwers.
The scientific name of the fungus is Ophiocordyceps unilateralis, and when observed in ants it has shown that once a chemical is released inside the body the ant will leave the colony. ANTS DON’T LEAVE A COLONY… that’s like saying I decided to flap my wings and fly. If anything gets in their way they’ll fight to the death… and beyond! The fungus controls them now in life and death. That’s zombie shit my friend! The purpose of this particular fungus is to get the ant to a certain level in between the forest floor and high in the canopies where humidity and heat suit the fungus best. That’s right, the fungus completely controls the ant until its death when the fungus forces its victim to lock its mandibles into a central part of a plant. Once locked into place perfectly for the fungus it begins growing and sprouting literally right out of the ants head and body. This sprout begins growing a pod of spores that can carry the zombie fungus across the forest floor to infect another creature.
The team of scientists was led by Harvards David Hughes and discovered what is being called the first and probably only example of behavioral manipulation. Now that this ridiculously insane information has been found they plan to study what makes the parasitic fungus take over the brain and muscles.
Look… Call me paranoid. But what seems like the most non-threatening thing in the world? A plant, you say? So if America was able to manipulate this parasite to attack humans, and then drop a box of these ‘non-threatening’ fungus plants on Al Qaeda? Yet during scientific trials something goes horribly wrong and begins infecting Everybody!? BAM!! Mother fuckin zombie apocalypse son. After all the movies, theories, and ‘zombie survival’ joke books… Its coming. Zombies, Are, Coming.