Why does it look like Lisa Simpson blowing Bart Simpson?
On July 27th the world came together for a festival of sports… The London Olympics began with a whacky ol’ opening ceremony from the mind of Danny Boyle including a pageant of dancing, choreography and colors. The gays were ECSTATIC. There was lots of prancing, and an interesting take on the history of Britain from the industrial revolution on, with announcers similar to a DVD commentary track.
But Id like to take a step back, back before the opening ceremonies…
On the surface the Olympics is a gathering of the worlds finest, and a time for the world to come together in celebration of the human spirit, but what it takes to make the Olympics happen is actually pretty ugly.
LOCOG (the London Organizing Committee of the Olympic and Paralympic Games) is the organization responsible for putting on the Olympics without a hitch, from starting on time to avoiding terrorist attacks. In order to do this, LOCOG felt it was necessary to alter the law, revoke civil rights, fill the area with as much military as during WWII, and kick up the big brother camera system EVEN HIGHER. These actions were taken for the same reason it always is… For public safety, and for our benefit.
Let me break this down for ya! During WWII, there were warships docked on the river Thames, right in the center of London. There was an operating Royal Air Force base in the capital, and all air traffic control was taken out of civilian hands and given to the Ministry of Defense. WWII was one of the last real wars, with significant risk to the freedoms we now kind-of enjoy and drastic measures were arguably necessary, it was an incredibly difficult and dangerous time. These measures are not exactly what I feel is necessary for badminton, BUT these measures were taken any way. Over 13,000 troops patrolled London, the Royal Marines were out checking your god damn tickets for the women’s synchronized swimming qualifying rounds. The Royal Marines are not the US equivalent of the Coast Guard or National Guard… these are some of Britain’s most hardcore soldiers. As well as man power, they installed surface-to-air missiles on residential buildings! Thats right, the silly chaps living in London got there homes turned into rocket launchpads!
Another step was to take a nice big steamy shit on civil rights. While Britain makes up about 1 percent of the global population, they’re being watched by 20 percent of the global CCTV cameras. More camera surveillance than COMMUNIST China. This was before preparations for the Olympics… NOW theres about 1 camera for every 14 people in London, and those cameras are ultra smart. For the Olympics LOCOG set up a new range of scanners, biometric ID cards, number-plate and facial-recognition CCTV systems, disease tracking capabilities, new police control centers and checkpoints. To make it sound even more psychotically evil and controlling… ALL of this surveillance was under a central control. This all sounds pretty crazy for keeping terrorists at bay and holding a sense of public safety, they wouldn’t use this police state-like technology for anything else would they? WOOOO.. No SIR! This intricate network of surveillance and big brothery is also used to prosecute anyone for selling counterfeit Olympics merchandise. Thats right, you got a “Congrats Michael Phelps” T-shirt you want to sell? YOURE GOIN DOWN!
Its no surprise the Olympics cost a ‘butt load’ of money. The official estimate is nearing 14 Billion dollars.. yes, thats billion with a B. So in order to earn this money back any host city has to make serious deals with the upper echelon of international brand sponsors. So the big guys get VIP select driving routes, exclusive advertising rights, ticket deals, and the like. When I say exclusive advertising rights, I mean it… If you were a regular joe trying to capitalize on your homelands hosting of the Olympics, and try to sell anything olympics related like something with the words “Games,” “2012″ “Gold,” “Silver,” “Bronze,” “London,” “Medals,” “Sponsors” and “Summer” in your signs or products then you got a $30,000 FINE. No. Im not kidding.
The IOC likes to also add some other special privileges to the host city to make sure lots of the money’s be made. Such as completely raping free speech, to the point where the London contract included that all billboards throughout the city must be rented by the city and that only sponsors of the games will be allowed to use them. If anyone wants to put up an anti-Olympics billboard, they are banned. Police even had the power to enter homes and remove an anti-Olympics signs.
So have i crushed all the happy feelings the olympics gave you yet? All the pride you felt as America took home the most medals? NO? Well, you are strong.. ALAS I AM NOT DONE!
I forgot to mention the 11 mile long electrified fence, powered with a 5,000 volt shock. Yeee Haw, now thats in the spirit of nations crossing borders to come together as one world community. Ol sparky (the wall) is six meters in height which makes it taller than a long standing symbol of communism and the cold war.. The Berlin Wall. Not only does it help keep terrorists out but it sure helps keep out all the homeless people and bums from bugging people!
Ya, sorry to spoil what was desperately marketed as a one world community event of peace and physical contest. I really wanted to feel good about America, and capitalism and western civilization but, when so much has to be done because so many people want to harm us.. its a little scary. But then again, Liam Gallagher performed “Wonderwall,” and Muse rocked the house with “Survival,” and Queen guitarist Brian May was joined by singer Jessie J for “We Will Rock You.” So its all good.
Nice to see u back masterwriter!!!