The Third Brand

Several hot college girls were hired to wear red sweats and a t-shirt promoting the new Double Down sandwich while they handed out coupons.

Once the completely oblivious morons who began the protests realized the alternate meaning for “teabagging”, the name magically changed and we were given ‘The Tea Party.’

Have you ever seen a lady sexual pill?? I haven’t, and I found out why..

Its happening again… A politician is buying their government seat, only this time its breaking records. Meg Whitman has officially become the largest self funded candidate in American history.

This is the best restaurant policy Ive ever heard of, and I want it in place at every restaurant except Chuck E Cheese and other ‘kid friendly’ locales. Actually, fuck it.. this policy should be every where.

Help me MAKE THIS HAPPEN!!!

The long awaited animated feature Hamster Precinct is finally here. Follow the path of HCPD detectives Gizmo Murphy and Squeekers Johnson. yes.. theyre hamsters.

The story is based mostly around hamster cops that fall into cases ranging much like cases on Law and Order, or CSI, but in a spoofy comedic way.

Oh you read that shit right… Papa Mitch is tackling my generations big conspiracy theory, and the perspectives on both sides.

Yes.. a fungus.. takes control of minds and bodies.. much like a zombie virus. I just shit in my pants a little bit and have decided to start hoarding shotguns and flame throwers.